Extended School Year and Summer Programs

Here we are in July and now that everyone is on summer break we have a whole new host of issues to face.  Within my own family it means getting used to adjusting schedules, which never goes well. Trying to adapt to the summer extended school year, and programs to keep the kids busy and me sane.  For those of you that didn’t get extended school year for your special needs child – don’t be jealous.  All my daughter will be receiving through the school system is a thirty minute social skills group once a week.  That’s right – 30 minutes! Really, what is the point?

This means that I have to fight to get her dressed and fed then get all three of my kids out to the bus stop.  So my daughter can be driven around town for a half an hour to finally get to school for a thirty minute group session.  Then she has be driven back home on the bus, at which point she will thrash and scream at me because she will be mad that they didn’t give her an opportunity to play on the playground.

I probably wouldn’t be so frustrated and would be more appreciative of the 30 minute group if I was told about it before I went out of my way to sign her and her sister up for ballet and gymnastics (per their request). You see the school system “asks” you if the extended program will work for you and I could say no but then they get the opportunity to say I refused services for my daughter. I won’t let that happen. “Monday for 30 minutes? Oh yes, Monday is great.” I reply when they tell me they are going to “offer” a social skills group to my daughter.  I don’t bother telling them that now my children will now be forced to miss half of the programs that they were signed up for this summer. I save my breath and try to explain to my husband why I smiled and accepted the “offer.” He is confused. “But you said yes? You seemed pleased that she will get something? Why don’t you ask for another day that works for us? he unknowingly says to me. “Oh dear, let me explain something to you, the special education system doesn’t revolve around us and our plans. It is a strictly ‘take it or leave it’ option. If I don’t “take it” there will be huge consequences. (ie. Mom refused services therefore we don’t need to offer them anymore.)

The team of professionals that have no idea what it is like to be a mom of a special needs child, has no idea that I have spent hours searching for a town with a Park and Recreation Department that will “accept” my daughter. Based on her age and her high-functioning, she doesn’t qualify for any special needs camps or summer programs through the local ARC. However, I often find I can’t send her to a regular camp because they are not knowledgeable about sensory needs and I fear what they would do with her if a meltdown ensued.

Instead, I signed her and her sister up for thirty minute classes of ballet and gymnastics at a neighboring town, at which I have to stay for the duration of the class with my screaming nonverbal son in tow and closely watch for any inkling of a meltdown. Last year I was lucky to get her into the ballet class and she made it three quarters of the summer through before melting down and not wanting to go back.

This years first class didn't go well. I arrived ten minutes early so I could change my son and give the girls a few minutes to run off some energy before having to be calm and listen.  Everything was going smoothly until someone had to pee and the building was locked.  The teacher showed up a minute before class was supposed to start to unlock the door.  This gave my daughter just enough time to get in the bathroom door before her bladder had enough. So I spent the first 20 minutes of class mopping the floor and washing up my child. Then the rest of the class was spent convincing my daughter to participate. She kept roaming the perimeter of the class or walking out of it. I fear that I have wasted my money since I had to pay for the entire summer up front.

Anyway, after talking to my friends, I realized that my daughter wasn't the only one left out of programs. There is hardly anything in town for ages 1-5. There isn't much for parents that have more than one child because most groups require you help your child which leaves the other unattended.  There isn't anything for high-functioning kids on the spectrum.  So I decided to start a new group, where no one will be left out.  (What can I say, if I see a need, I feel obligated to fill it.) I'm going to call it Activities 4 All Abilities.  It will provide an art class from 10-10:45am. Then, 11:00-11:45 will be a sensory fun/movement class.  While the class is going on, my husband has been gracious enough to mind siblings or participants that aren't quite sure that they want to participate. Parents still need to stay to help but at least their will be extra hands. I am only charging $3 per class to cover the cost of juice boxes, snacks, and art supplies. I hope it goes well. At least if my daughters decide to roam out of class I know where they will be.